I have just suffered the greatest humiliation since, in 1985 at Charnwood High in Canberra I was made to stand up in front of the entire school assembly (and Adam Weir) for talking. I remember never having been so embarrassed in my life; until now.

Picture this........
It's 40C and has been since before midday. These parts are known for very scary creatures in the heat of summer so I wasn't all that surprised when I spotted a snake in the front yard just outside the front door. I stood there watching him for a few minutes before I decided to call Justin the snake man. "I'll be there in 5 minutes" says Justin . "Don't take your eyes off him, if he moves away I need you to tell me where he went.".......I tell Justin that when he pulls up the driveway he won't see me because I'm a prisoner, trapped inside the front door, so he'll have to come in the side gate and walk slowly up to the door where the snake is sitting. I stood at the front door eyes plastered on the sanake until true to his word, Justin arrived a few minutes later.

He gets out his snake catcher and a white cloth bag and he makes toward the side gate. I can see him just as he comes around the corner and I say "He hasn't moved". Justin replies......., "That's because he's rubber mate". I say "Oh bullshit, you're kidding" . "nah mate he's rubber alright" says Justin as he picks up 'Mr. Rubber' and hurls him a few feet away. Oh god, "I'm sorry I say. I'm house sitting, I'll kill those mongrels when they get back. I'm so sorry for wasting your time". He turns back toward his car not 30 seconds after he pulled up and says, "you were my 4th call out today. First rubber one but, don't worry about it mate", as he pulls off down the driveway...........oh the shame of it all, in retrospect maybe it wasn't quite as embarrassing as that school assembly.......